Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dating: Is White The New Black?

So I guess I'm going to blog myself crazy today....

But I was reading someone else's blog about dating people of different ethnicities. It's always been a touchy subject with me. However, today I wish to be enlightened. I am an un-married 28-year-old woman who has only seriously dated black men. None of the relationships have been successful. And unfortunately, I am the norm amongst black women throughout the country. 64% of black women are not married compared to 34% of white women.
But everyone seems to think the right one is out there.

Is he? .....Or is he in jail, not working, selling drugs, trying to be in the "entertainment industry", still living at home with his mama, married (but dating), not taking care of the children he's sprinkled across the country, or is obsessed with a big booty blasian, brazilian or white woman.

It's me, I know. But it's slowly becoming my reality when it comes to black men. I've encountered almost all of the above. Fortunately, I get a second look and often proposals of dating men of all different races. While some women say they aren't meeting anyone!

There is just something about a black man. His arrogance, his deep skin tone(yes I like the chocolate ones), his swagger, his determination. But those who are intimidated and use the "angry woman excuse" for not dating a black pathetic...and need not apply for this job.
Remember your mothers, your sisters and your grandmothers. They were probably all strong willed women. We are raised to be, because so many times we are left to raise our families the black man.

I am not bitter by those who have found love across culture lines but I do despise those who refuse to look twice at the black woman because of his own insecurities.

But the reality is many of our successful black men are dating and marrying other races: Quincy Jones, Taye Diggs, Reggie Bush, Don Cronelius, Terrell Owens, Charles Barkley, Cuba Gooding Jr, Ice T, Bryant Gumbel, Seal...the list goes on and on.

It's interesting because black men in my opinion are facinated with skin color, while white men who are attracted to black women don't have a preference.

So could Mr. Right be white? Some black women think so.

It's something that is becoming of great interest to the single black woman. ...Dating outside her race. However, it goes beyond black and white. What about a Hispanic man or a man of Asian decent????
Look at Halle Berry, Beverly Johnson, Tyra Banks, Venus Williams, Naomi Campbell. These are all women who have decided to look beyond color.
But can you look beyond culture? Can someone who doesn't look like me truly understand what it's like to be judged before I even utter a word???

I would looooove to hear from everyone, especially what white men think of black men dating white women. Women who have dated outside their race...and yes, the black man who doesn't mind being in an interracial relationship. ~E


Armand and Cara said...

I guess the first thing I can say about this is, believe me, the white girls are definitely not getting all the good black men. Until the guy I have now, I probably would have felt like a Good Black Man didn't exsist. One issue is we expect wayyyy wayyyy too much (not saying settle either) when if we look in the mirror we are not perfect either. No matter how fine, how much money, etc a man has, when we see the red flags we need to bail immediately. So many of us are such strong go getters that we try to weather the storm and it actually ends up weathering us. I could probably go on and on until this thing said no more space, but I won't. I am going to say that when I started loving myself, believing that I deserved a good man, and not putting up with bullshit for fear of being left and so on, I got what I wanted. He is definitely not perfect, but he is perfect for me.

Eb the Celeb said...

I agree with you...

although my background is a bit different because all my brothers and sisters are mixed... my mom stopped dating black men at one point and is married to a white man

but I dont think white is right for me... I feel that my brother to the night will find me one day..

but often times I do wonder what it would be like to date a white guy... the problem is that I couldnt date the typical white guy... I am only attracted to white guys with swagger... kinda like how Channing Tatum was in that dancing movie Step Up... other than that and I couldnt even give it a try.

Elise said...

I'm with you's all about the swag!

However, I met one today who embodies that swag. We will give it a try and see if he can hang!


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